Why should I be successful?

Wow the last time I posted here was in 2015. Seven months before I went off to grad school in Virginia.
I haven’t been blogging – I mean who has?

I decided to write in this abandoned and unread space as I am beginning my progress of trying to get an agent and subsequently get something published.

If you are a reader who does not follow me on any social media (why would you right?) – I went to advertising school, worked in advertising for four years and still does in some sense and will probably get back to it next year. but right now, I’m back home in Vancouver and I’m querying a novel I finished.

It’s Contemporary Young Adult.

I’ve “pitched” this idea to several people who heard me talk about it. I am very sensitive about sharing the premise of the novel because I don’t want to be judged on it and in many ways, I believe it’s a unique (ish) story.

I finished the novel and edited (I hate editing) for a month or two.

I am not working full time so it’s nice to have the time and to be honest, I’ve been not as proactive as I’d like.

On nov 4th I queried 9 agents. On Nov 5th (my birthday!) I got a rejection letter.
On the 5th, I revised my Query letter and sent it to another 5 agents. Now it’s funnier, it’s more ME.
I’m the least academic person so my letters come out like conversations which honestly, have gotten me FAR in advertising but in publishing land, who knows?

Anyways, that rejection.

Sure, THATS ENTIRELY EXPECTED.
Having worked in advertising, one of the least professional industries I’ve ever have witnessed to (or is every industry like this), being rejected / ignored is entirely plausible even after having SUCCESSFUL interviews.

But this one hurt.
I actually enjoy working in advertising but I guess in my deep of hearts, I don’t care about it.
Expected but hurt.

I need to work on my craft more and all that.
I want to start a new project but … ?

I DO have ideas and goals but I am afraid I’ll have to work on advertising forever and honestly after having left it for half a year, I really don’t miss it.

I’m sure I’ll be itchy about it next year but right now. I am letting myself live in this self indulgent writing fantasy.

I didn’t think I’d get an agent right off the bat but I didn’t think I’d be so affected either.

But I mean, why should I succeed? I don’t have the relationships. I don’t have the network. I am not related to anyone that’s already a well known writer. WHY SHOULD I SUCCEED?

WHY SHOULD I BE ALLOWED TO SUCCEED?

Why am I special in any way or form?

I’m not.

So that helps.

Posted: November 6th, 2019
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